Month: January 2015

2015.01.06: God is love

Whoever is without love does not know God, for God is love. 1 Jn 4:8

I did not know love.
I did not know You.
I only knew the Law.
And, the law is unforgiving.
I was not perfect.
I am a sinner.
I grew in despair.
I will never make it home.
I will always be a sinner.
I will never see paradise.
I abandoned all hope.
I surrendered.
I confessed my sin to you.
I will never be perfect.
I had lost my inheritance.
I will never earn it back.
I offered to you all that I have left.
I threw by broken self at your mercy.

Then you sent your son, Jesus.
He came to me in my hour of despair.
He accepted me in my brokenness.
He loved me anyway.
He forgave me all my sins.
I had hoped for mercy.
He showed me love.
He loved me as one brother loves another.
Then he led me to You.
You loved me as a father loves a child.
Now I know love.
Now I know God, and God is love.

2015.01.04: Epiphany of the Lord

… and on entering the house they saw the child with Mary his mother. They prostrated themselves and did him homage. — Mt 2:11

here i am Lord
at the feet of your crib
a makeshift bed
of only straw and hay
for the Son of God

here i am Lord
called here by your loving Mother
when the shepherds caught me
sobbing uncontrollably
while the Magi of the east
paid you homage

here i am Lord
full of shame
how many times have i read
the sacred words of Isaiah
yet never having believed
until the Magi came
seeking your birthplace

here i am Lord
bathing in your radiance
your glory shines over me
your splendor covers me
my heart throbs and overflows

here i am Lord
crying tears of joy
i bring you no gifts
yet you gave me Life
forever i will give you thanks
forever i will sing your praise

2015.01.03: a water dream

last night
i slept
and dreamed

i was
in a well

i felt
water
all around

i was
one
with the water

i saw
the stars
framed
(a round picture)
above me

no limbs
to climb out

no panic

i heard
a voice
echoing
in the silence
“go deeper”

so deeper
i dove
deeper
than i’ve
ever been

i felt
a current
gently tugging
and heard
a voice
beckoning
“follow me”

I knew
the voice
and followed

weary
finally
i surrendered
my will

yet
i remained
aware

the river
carried me

onward
we flowed
ever onward

suddenly
i was
in an ocean

i was
in the ocean
and the river
and the well
all at once

i saw lights
from the distant
seashore

i noticed
the moon
and the stars
gleaming brightly
in the water
with me

i am
one
with the water

the water
and i
are one

i woke up
this morning
thinking
“i can’t swim”

2015.01.02: Begin with the end

Has another year already gone by? They seem to come and go so much faster. Time seems like a ball gaining speed as it rolls downhill.

As I observe another birthday, I know that I’ve already passed my half-life point. There’s no reason to be happy or sad. It’s just a fact of life, but it does give me pause to ponder. What were the highlights of this past year? What were the low points? What gave me joy? What challenged me? What lies ahead?

It brings me to one of my favorite psychological principle – the Pygmalion Effect and a corollary of it:

Begin with the end in mind. Stephen Covey

In my younger days, the “ends” were academic honors, professional achievements, social status, or material wealth. These days the “end” for me is simple: peace of mind, serenity of spirit, and a heart open to God’s love. That’s what gives me joy.