2015.02.20: a contrite, humbled heart

My sacrifice, O God, is a contrite spirit;
a heart contrite and humbled, O God, you will not spurn. – PS 51:19

my Lord, before you my life is an open book
in your gaze my soul is transparent
yet i fashion fig leaves of my own making
to hide the shame in my heart

so i seek to win back your favor
with fasting and exacting penitent observances
like i could hide my selfish intentions

and when i’ve exhausted all of my efforts
and lost all hope of earning redemption by myself
with despair gripping my soul and pride seeping away
all that was left was destitution – complete poverty of spirit

only then did i cry out for help
only then did i realize i needed you
only then did i turn to you with contrite heart

yet in that moment
i became aware of your presence
my tears turned from contrition to joy
as i felt your love pouring over me

now all i want to do
is fast from the world
and feast in your presence
with a contrite, humbled heart

2015.02.19: accepting my cross

Then he said to all, “If anyone wishes to come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily* and follow me. – Lk 9:23

O holy Grace,
thank you for the wisdom
to understand
that denying myself
means not choosing
my own cross
but accepting the cross
that you give to me

It isn’t my cross
that will gain me life
Jesus has already
won that victory

To follow Jesus means
to treasure this gift of life,
bear witness to his works,
and when called
be a channel for his works.

Grant that my cross will be
for your greater glory.

2015.02.18: a lenten prayer

Behold, now is a very acceptable time;
behold, now is the day of salvation. 2 Cor 6:2

gracious Father,
here i am on my knees
at the foot of the altar
as i begin this journey
of forty days
look not upon my past sins
or my future failings
but on the goodness
of your only begotten Son,
Jesus, who is my Savior

thank you, Father
for the grace
to know that my cross
is to do your will
in your boundless mercy
please grant me
the wisdom
to know your will
the humility
to accept your will
and the courage
to do your will

Jesus, stay with me
for i know that it is only
with you,
in you,
and through you
can i hope to bear this cross

2015.02.17: unleavened bread

Do you not yet understand or comprehend? Are your hearts hardened? Do you have eyes and not see, ears and not hear? Mk 8:16-17

Let me eat, Lord
the daily bread
that you offer

Let my tongue, Lord
learn to love the taste
of unleavened bread

Keep me safe, Lord
from the leaven
of the world

Let my ears, Lord
hear your voice above
the noise of the world

Let my eyes, Lord
see your daily miracles
no matter how little

Let my heart, Lord
understand the way to salvation
comes through unleavened bread

2015.02.16: sign of the Lord

He sighed from the depth of his spirit and said, “Why does this generation seek a sign? Amen, I say to you, no sign will be given to this generation.” – MK 8:12

A god of my making
would give me signs
that pleases me
to keep me following

you are not a idol of my making
you are the Lord Creator
i am a creature of your making
i do not need signs to know my maker

i am grateful for the grace
to know the Lord Incarnate
who has given me
eyes to see
ears to hear
and heart to know
that he is always with me